Thursday 4 August 2011

More writing...

I know I've said it before...but here it is again:

If you like what I write & you have a burning desire to read more then type:

WWW.ROCKCLIMBINGUK.CO.UK

...into your browsers. You can then click on the 'contributors' link and find ME and my articles.

Splendid.

Alternatively, hop on'th'owd Twitter (that means 'have a look on twitter' in Bolton speak) and follow me: Liam Lonsdale

Simple.

I love you. All of you. Dearly. Especially you.

Liam

Friday 15 July 2011

Shit blogger.

Yes, I am a shit blogger.

I'm sorry ... I wish I could be a better blogger and no doubt it would make me a better person. I'm a busy bee you see. If you want to read some of my stuff then head over to Rock Climbing UK (click here) or follow me on Twitter (click here) where I am considerbaly more reliable and definitely more interesting.

I will be blogging in the future, I promise. When? I can't say I'm afraid.  But I will try to make it sooner rather than later.

I do still love you, honest.

Thursday 9 June 2011

GREAT NORTH SWIM

Right.

The one & only Penny Millar is going to be competing in the GREAT NORTH SWIM in just two weeks time.

She's going to swim a mile...across Windermere...as fast as she can...along with a few thousand other people. It's cold, it's hard work & it's definitley worth some sponsorship.

It's all for an extremely good cause (Christies Cancer Centre) & a couple of quid from YOU, WILL make a hell of a difference.

You may/may not know Penny ... but you most likely WILL know someone who has/had cancer and used the fantastic services that Christies provides.

Do your bit. To donate, click the link at the bottom.

Thanks and love to you all.

CLICK TO DONATE

Thursday 26 May 2011

Mallorca.

Just a quicky.

Amy and I went to Mallorca last week for a short break away from the grind. Fun was had by all and whilst we were there we managed to get a few good days climbing in ... we managed to visit La Creveta, Puig St. Marti and also the magnificent Cala Magraner. Our home for the week was a private villa called La Plana which nestles in the valley off the Ma-10 between Pollenca and the Serra Tramuntana. It was absolutely stunning.

Not only is the climbing in Mallorca extraordinary, the views are spectacular, the hillside villages are beautiful and it's a very easy island to get around, making the travelling interesting and exciting.

Anyway, like I said, just a quicky ... if you get the chance to hit Mallorca for some climbing, or even just a short break, snap it up ... It comes highly recommended.

Speak soon folks.

ps. FIND ME ON TWITTER, search liaml89 or LIAM LONSDALE

Friday 15 April 2011

Surviving the 'FRIDAY MORNING DIP'

It's Friday morning and I just hit the wall more commonly known as The 'Friday morning dip'. It had hit me hard and was mocking me. I could feel it laughing at me as I writhed and wriggled in its extremely unproductive clutches.

I was starting to flag ...

Here's how I survived and how YOU  CAN TOO.

First.

Take action. You cannot let the dip beat you ... there are only a few hours until home time and the weekend ... lunch is a mere moment away. Prepare yourself a large cafetiere of STRONG coffee (i'm currently on a fairtrade variety from Tanzania ... bangin'). You'll need the following ...

The tools of the trade
 
Second.

Put that milk back. You DO NOT want any of that moo-juice in there. Believe me. It dilutes your caffeine hit and it doesn't help you lose those extra pounds for your next hard red-point. Skimmed milk you say? Did I mention it dilutes you caffeine hit? Yes I did. Now put it back.

Third.

Find the BIGGEST mug in the building. Don't have any large mugs in the house? Be resourceful, use a large pan, a vase, a bucket?! Think outside the box. It just so happens that I have A PINT MUG in my kitchen cupboards, this is perfect for the job. Pour your now brewed and filtered STRONG coffee into the mug ... all of it. Yes, the whole damn lot (if you are sensitive to caffeine then make sure you aren't doing yourself any damage) if you want to beat this thing you have to be prepared to work for it.


Fourth.

Drink that coffee. Drink it. ALL of it. Savour the deep flabours as it slides down our gullett. Now take a few deep breaths ...
wait for it ...

BOOM. That's the caffeine hitting your blood stream and STIMULATING your body like never before.

Fifth.

Now ride that caffeine high through until lunch time and get back to work ... lazy git. There's no stopping you now!

 

The author admiring his handy work

LOVE TO YOU ALL




TAKE CARE WHEN HANDLING HOT SUBSTANCES...they can burn your face off! 

Sunday 10 April 2011

I'm not going to cook it but I'll order it from Zanzibar...

...the famous or rather, infamous lyrics of the Tenacious D song, 'F*ck Her Gently' conjure lots of images & ideas. None of which are related to the article below I hasten to add. No, below is not a tale of sexual exploration and lust on the Spice Island. Below is a tale of my travels to unclimbed* shores, looking for something steep to pull on, deep in the heart of the Indian Ocean. And so...

...It's here. Finally. I've promised to write about my bouldering experience in Zanzibar since August last year. Admittedly, I've been a little lax in getting this one from my head through the keyboard and onto the screen, but you know what they say, good things come to those who wait.

In April 2010 I was given an absolutley incredible gift for my birthday from my equally incredible partner Amy. We were to embark on a trip to Tanzania & Zanzibar later in the year to work with community projects that housed and educated orphans in the area. The trip was to last three weeks (...we both wished it could have been longer, but were limited by work commitments) and would spend around one week on the mainland of Tanganyika (more commonly known as Tanzania) and two weeks on the island of Unguja (more commonly know as Zanzibar).

Now I don't know about you, but the first thing that crossed my mind when I found out that I was away for three weeks was ... what about climbing?! I immediately began scouring the internet looking for any nuggets of information about climbing in Tanzania or on the island of Zanzibar, there was (and still is) very little. The only leads I had were two photos I had managed to find, one of a very steep looking, sea battered shore line and the other, an over exposed shot from the HotRock website. There was no talk of locations, or any developed bouldering areas anywhere I looked.

Optimistic (as always) I packed some old shoes, a chalk bag, and my trusty Lapis brush ... just in case.


After almost two weeks of touring and working in the orphanges I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms. We had seen some emotional, incredible and harrowing sights and I needed my cathartic dose of climbing. Even pull-ups on door frames and shimmying up one of the phenomenal BaoBao trees couldn't fill the void I'd been left with.
Venturing into the massive branches of the BaoBao tree

The author in the heart of the BaoBao tree (approx 10m up) wishing he had a rope on (or at least a helmet!)
We had been working hard on the island of Zanzibar and were in need of a rest. The group of volunteers that Amy and I had grown friendly with were heading to the North of the island for the weekend to a place called Kendwa Rocks. Kendwa is known for it's crystal clear waters, brilliant white sands, palm trees, beach huts and more importantly ... it's beach parties. The very conservative, Islamic hustle and bustle of Stone Town (the capital of Zanzibar and the town we were staying in) was amazing, a true cultural experience and a magnificent place to reside but Amy and I were exhausted. We fancied a break. We were in need of a little time to let our hair down whilst having a laugh in a relaxed and more liberal setting.

We were going to Kendwa.

The perfect place to relax. Kendwa, Zanzibar


On arriving in Kendwa we were met with everything we were promised. Beautiful beaches right out of the front door of our chalets, hammocks in the sun, traditional local fishing Dhows providing perfect photo opportunites and a healthy supply of cocktails ... lush. It truly was paradise. Ever the adventurer I wanted to go for a wander up the beach and see what else I could find.

As I ambled along I was met with a steep limestone face, around a metre high, rising up out of the sand. Amazing. Weird, but amazing. On closer inspection it looked to be what was part of the old reef, where the sea had once been many years ago. It carried on for literally the whole length of the beach from where I was stood looking Northwards up the island. The most exciting part? It got bigger!

I wasn't really sure what to expect but this looked similar to one of the photos I had seen. Grey rock that got gradually higher and turned more orange in colour the further it went ... steep but not particularly high ... Was this why they called it Kendwa Rocks?

About 2 kilometeres further up the beach the rock was now between 2.5 metres - 4 metres in height in some spots, overhanging by about 3-5metres. Locals were using it to shade themselves from the harsh equatorial sun, sitting in the soft sand beneath. This was looking better by the minute.

I walked into the sea to get a panoramic view of the rock in it's entirity trying to locate the place where I thought would yield the best/any climbing. A position right at the far end of the beach where some of the local 'wide-boys' were chilling out looked to be the best choice. I wandered over for a closer look at the rock and also to ask the blokes if they would mind me coming back with my shoes and chalk to climb on it. The rock was covered in features and the locals (who appeared to be smoking a rather large conical shaped cigarette) didn't seem to mind ... although language was an issue. After some creative miming, a couple of deadhangs to demonstrate and a lot of giggling (from them) I figured I had their approval. It was on.

I waltzed back down the beach towards our chalet with a spring in my step and started to get a bit excited. Was I finally going to get some climbing in?

20 minutes later after a jog and some stretching to warm up I was back at the same spot equipped with my kit. The 'wide-boys' seemingly stoned and rather curious as to what I was about to do shuffled from underneath the shade and respite of the rock and formed an audience in the scorching heat.

I inspected what looked to be an obvious line up a wide prow. Scanning the petrified reef for holds, I planned out a rough path from bottom to top, there seemed to be enough to get me there. I brushed and chalked a couple of the more obvious holds and began to get myself 'in the zone'.

I perched myself as far under the overhang as I could, found some starting hand & footholds. Took a deep breath and pulled. I was on.

Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t.

There is one thing for sure; sea-battererd limestone is very sharp. Very f*cking sharp indeed. However there was no way that I was letting go or falling off, this was my flash attempt at conquering the Zanzibar bouldering scene ... and on top of that, I had an audience ...  I was getting to the top.

I'll be honest, the going was pretty tough, without a proper warm up it felt like I was climbing through a horizontal roof rather than on the 45/50 degree angle that it was in reality. As I climbed it looked as though there were literally hundreds of features that looked useable, it was only until I applied any weight or force to them that I found  most were like pulling on broken glass or would snap off under my weight. My fingers were hurting from the sharpness and my arms were getting pumped. I needed a rest ... this was definitely going to require some innovation; I managed to throw my leg up into a large, sharp pocket feature and with a flick of the heel I found a bomber heel/toe lock. A swift move of my right hand to a large hold mean that I was in balance and in a good position to rest.
The author making good use of a rest on his first problem font 6b+ (notice the very stoned local perched behind him)


A quick moment to catch my breath and a dab of chalk and I was powering through the last few moves to the top of the rock. I could hear a mumble of voices from the crowd behind me and I as I turned round to climb back down ... I was met with applause. Clearly the locals felt I had warranted some appreciation. Cracking.

Well, I was off to a flying start and had climbed my first problem, I reckon at around V4+/font6b+/6c. I shared some moments of enthusiasm and excitement with the 'wide-boys' and now growing crowd of locals which also included some Masai men that had gathered to see what the hell I was doing. They were intrigued, but who wouldn't be?! A crazy white guy turns up and starts throwing himself about on your local bit of rock?! Very strange. A couple of the more ambitious locals and one of the Masai fancied a try themselves and did their best to find a decent hold and put their feet on ... it looks easy right?! I gave them all a dab in the chalk bag, and pointed them at some of the more obvious holds. They realised very quickly that this was not as easy as they had first thought, in fact it was quite the opposite. Their failed efforts simply made them want me to show them what else could be done on the rock. They wanted more, and so did I.

I wandered a little further along the rock to look for the next obvious line to climb ... it wasn't so obvious. The next sequence of (useable) features looked smaller and more widely spaced, following a scoop feature out through the steep roof ... it was going to require a little more thought and a lot more effort. Especially if I was going to impress! I brushed and chalked up the holds that looked solid and hung off them just to check. More chalk and a few deep breaths and I was sat at the base of the rock again.

I pulled on the first holds. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pressing with my feet as hard as I could I tried to take some of the weight (and hopefully some of the pain) from my fingers. A long reach with my right arm for the next distant hold and ... slip. I hit the sand arse first to a volley of disappointed groans from the locals. Crap. I really was going to have to try.
The (painful) starting holds

I chalked up again, gritted my teeth and pressed hard into my toes this time attempting to make the move more dynamically ... my hand hit its target, but my feet cut loose. Not wanting to commit to the razor sharp hold hold (or the pain) I hit the sand again. This time there was silence. Ouch. I had a harsh word with myself.

What's wrong with you? The holds are chalked. You know you can make the reach. Man-up and pull-on.

More chalk, more deep breaths and I'm back on. This time going for a more controlled approach, locking my left arm deep as my right hand reaches high.
The big move up & right

My fingers squeezed the hold, I was in business. I could feel my feet starting to shift and knew that gravity was about to pull me away from the rock. As I started to cut-loose again, I pressed hard with my left hand and gripped tight with my right letting my body swing through. Using the momentum of the swing I threw my right foot high above my head and onto the next foot hold. It stuck. Come on. Despite the awkward position I flagged my left leg out. I felt balanced. I breathed. More chalk.

Throwing my leg up high (good use of momentum) for the awkward postition

Flagging the left leg to stay in balance and taking a second to chalk up


I eyed up the next hold. It was up and left, a weird looking blob in a pocket. I knew this would be a powerful move, from the position I wasin. I engaged my core muscles as I moved my left hand onto its hold. I hit it first time. Feet loose again I regained balance and pressed on the footholds.

Grabbing 'the blob' out left

Sinking down ready for the 'last big move'
One final big move up to another good hold was all it would take. I sank deep into my feet and then powered up to a sharp jug, cranking the last easy moves to the top. I had done it again. More applause. This was great. Another problem done, this time at around V5+/V6 or font 6c+/7a.

I was having an absolute whale of a time, however my fingers and the rest of my body didn't agree. I was already bleeding from a gash on my left hand, my index finger on my right hand had a big flapper and I had managed to slash my ankles up pretty bad as well. As much as I was enjoying myself, I was going to have to call it a day, before I did any serious damage.

Unlike when I'm in the UK or on a climbing trip and I get shut down early by flappers/blood/rain/etc I wasn't gutted, mad or anything similar. I was actually very pleased. I think the fact that I hadn't climbed for so long meant that a quick burst for an hour in the sun was enough to put a smile on my face.

I ambled back to the beach huts and chalets where the rest of the group was sunbathing. As I approached,  chatting with the still-confused locals, bloodied up like I'd be wrestling with razor-wire ... the awaiting folk (all non-climbers) thought that I had a screw loose. They were probably right.

If you are heading out to Zanzibar (for whatever reason) and want to know if there is any climbing to be had ... I think I have answered the question quite clearly. There is bouldering there. It is by no means not easy, and it's certainly not skin friendly but it was a perfect quick hit and a little adventure, all at the same time.

I certainly left Kendwa very happy.

Thanks go to the extremely friendly (and incredibly stoned) locals for letting me play on their rock and also a big thank you to Amy for coming along with me the day after with her posh camera to take the lovely pictures you've seen here.

Love to you all.

The author ... smiling

*(unconfirmed) 

Tuesday 5 April 2011

Zanzibar blog...

The long awaited and repeatedly promised Zanzibar blog is on it's way...

Hold tight people.

Love to you.


Liam

Thursday 31 March 2011

The under-developed 'love muscle'

Drove past this place earlier today ...





I'm guessing it's where men go when their 'Johnny T' is lacking definition or is a little out of shape.

I'll be honest with you, I didn't think the NHS offered that kind of service?!


Love to you all (especially blokes attending 'the clinic', stay strong).

More blogging to follow soon.


Liam

Wednesday 9 March 2011

How many...

...spoonfuls of Nutella can you eat before it's officially bad for you?




Liam

Location:A dark place. Filled with chocolate.

Tuesday 8 March 2011

...can I also say...

I have nothing against people that work in Topshop/Topman or any of the Arcadia groups many stores.

I just felt after the poor treatment and customer service I received that I should vent my anger and discontent and did so via the blog.

Don't want to ruffle any feathers now do we?

More climbing and beer required methinks.


Liam

Location:Kendal

You work in Topman. Pr*ck.

Went to spend my christmas voucher in Topman today whilst doing some work in Derby.

I was made to feel a right prat just because I wasn't wearing skinny jeans, daft pumps or a heavy knitted cardigan...they talked to me like I was f*#king stupid (which I isn't, honest mister) and practically spat on me with their dirty looks.

I wanted to say: "Let's be honest, you work in f*#king Topman you silly little boys. Is it not about time you chopped off that ridiculous mop of hair, took your mums leggings off and put a pair of socks on and got a real job?!"

I actually said: "I'll take these plain white t-shirts please. Yes, four of them, everything else in here is clearly for girls. Thank you. Prick. (...admittedly prick was said under my breath)

I left.

The moral of the story: I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it's something along the lines of:

If you get a Topman voucher for Christmas, use it online. That way you won't be subject to the judgemental snobbery that is the 'Topman-boys' and hopefully you wont have to waste time that could have been spent climbing, looking at gear or sleeping (or more likely...working).

When it comes to shopping I much prefer going to The Climbers Shop/Lakes Climber/Needlesports and similar decent independents and having banter and a brew with the staff in there about our latest exploits and all the new kit.

Sad? Maybe.

Bothered? No.

Oh god ... I actually just wrote a blog about shopping. Didn't I? I feel a bit sick.

Time to go climbing & down a pint before I end up getting a manicure and booking a hair appointment.


Liam

Location:Richardson St,Derby,United Kingdom

Sunday 6 March 2011

Bring on Spring.

I've just returned from a walk up Cunswick Fell and Scout Scar with Amy. The weather is absolutely stunning...dry, warm sunshine and a cool spring breeze in the air.

Whilst on't'scar I couldn't stop myself from having a quick neb at the crag to see how it's looking after the recent dry spell. I've been a few times (not nearly enough considering it's a 30min walk from my house...or a 6 minute drive) and had a potter around on the easy classics there but that's it really.

During a recent chat with Mr. Colombi it came to light that there are couple of 'harder' routes on offer as well, namely: Meet the Wife 7b+ and Sylvester Strange 7c.

I was delighted to see that the entire crag was dry as a bone and both routes look brilliant. Temps are perfect as well. Sylvester Strange looks really cool and potentially flashable...who knows? Keen to get up there next weekend for a session.

It will certainly put my winter of hard training indoors to the test. Pretty psyched to get some hard climbing in early in the season.

Going for a drive up to Coniston now to see Amy's brother and his lovely family.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Liam

Location:Kendal

Friday 4 March 2011

Hometown Glory.

Woke up in Bolton town this morning. Had my face licked by the family dog, Murphy. I also noticed he has a winnet hanging off his arse as he proceeded to try and sit on me. Great stuff.

Location:Bolton, Lancashire

Thursday 3 March 2011

It's been a bloody while...

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls...I can only apologise for my tardiness in blogging of late.

Life has been busy and squeezing sleep in has been a challenge, never mind trying to collate and collect thoughts and then type them up on here.

However...I now have a posh new iPhone and have found a posh new 'app' that allows me to blog on't'move. Get in. This means that hopefully I'll be able to stay in touch and keep you all up to date.

Quick update (and I mean quick...there's a good few blogs worth of typing to be had...but I'll be concise):

- I GOT A NEW JOB.
That's right, I've flown the Tog24 Kendal nest and moved on to pastures new. I'm working for a company called SealSkinz. We manufacture waterproof socks, hats and gloves (without the use of any Seal at all...don't panic). I'm working as the Northern Regional Sales Representative and will be the key point of contact for accounts in the area. The kit is amazing, truly fantastic stuff and it's lovely to be selling some decent product. On top of that, the company itself is cracking. I'm working with some very experienced and very cool people who have been great to me so far. We're right in the thick of forward order season at the minute and its manic to say the least. Its exciting and new and i'll be honest with you, I love it. Let's hope things carry on being so positive.

- I BOUGHT SOME WHEELS.
I needed a car for the new job. I bought one. Winner.

- I'M FEELING STRONG.
I've been travelling around quite a bit (well...a lot actually. I've already put 7000 miles on the car. Ouch) and in doing so I've managed to get to different bouldering walls around the country. So far i've ticked Beacon, Redpoint and Climb Newcastle plus a cheeky sesh on the OB Aberdovey shed-board. When I've been home i've been hitting it hard at Kendal Wall. I'm feeling the benefits. There are some super hard new routes up (thanks to Ian Vickers and Robbie Phillips) and I'm loving working them out and sending them. 8a...? Soon. Very soon. Now I just need the crags to dry out and put all my hard work to the test. I can't wait for summer.

- I'VE MOVED HOUSE.
I now live with Amy (since October). It's great having a place together and the cottage we live in is very, very cool. It has a cellar for a start. Beastmaker 2000? On it. Thanks to Penny for putting up with me for so long.

MORE TO FOLLOW...
Like I said...I'm hoping to post much more frequently now I have this app so watch this space. I'll be hitting the blogs hard. Progress and news coming soon.

Much love peoples.

Liam

Location:Gorsey Ln,Birchwood,United Kingdom